Saturday, May 22, 2010

Rick's Birthday Dinner

I am convinced that I have the most wonderful man ever.

In celebration of Rick's birthday I thought I was quite the sly fox.  I had the presents wrapped and out for him to see a day before his birthday.  I called Rick this morning and asked for his mother's phone number to get some advice. I am sure he knew I was up to something but I don't think he knew what. I asked for and received directions on making one of his favorite dishes, chicken parmesan. I also picked up a birthday cake and candles. I was all set.

I started cooking per "Mom's" instructions. She had said to bread the chicken and then put in the frying pan on high heat. Once lightly seared you turn the heat down and fry a little more.

Did you know that you cannot tell that chicken parmesan is burning
until you smell it?

There was no excess smoke or anything so I listened for any tell tale signs of misfortune. I finally decided to turn the bird over and low and behold, we had Cajun blackened chicken parmesan! ::sigh::

At this point Rick appeared at the pass thru window and told me, "You do know that you need to use lower heats when cooking in a calphalon pan, don't you honey?". Why no, I don't know that. I cook how often? I have cooked chicken parmesan HOW many times? (ummm never)  The burning might also have had something to do with my forgetting to put a little oil in the bottom of the pan before frying.  I only realized THAT mistake the next day.

I was devastated. I had been so proud with trying to cook for my man.  I turned the chicken breast over and promptly misjudged and burned the other side. The next breast came out somewhat better (probably due to me turning it every 5 seconds whether it needed it or not). I then placed the bird boobs (charcoal and all) into the baking dish.

I had done almost everything I was supposed to and the cheese on the top of the dish was absolutely beautiful. I doubt I will ever be able to make it that pretty again. It was so good, thick and gooey. It was the most beautiful golden brown color. It reminded me of the lovely tropical foliage that is spread over a tiger pit. Such a beautiful disguise for the disaster waiting below.

I served the salad and then the chicken. About a quarter way through my breast, I cut the rest into very small pieces. I told Rick that I just could not eat that crap. It was horrid! Ever have a burger that was left on so long that it was crunchy all the way through? It tasted just like that.  Just awful! I dumped the remainder of my chicken into my dog's bowl.  To his credit he ate it without complaint.

Then I looked over at Rick. Rick's plate was empty. He ate every bit of that horrible meal! And said thank you! Rick had only requested 1 gift specifically for his birthday. It required both of us in the same room and a lack of clothing. ::grin:: After eating the failed dinner attempt, my stomach was feeling not so good. I also had been up since early in the morning and still had to work the midnight shift that night. Rick asked if we could just lay down and cuddle (I think he noticed I was not feeling well). We took a nap for an hour and he sent me off to work with a kiss.

I have the best husband ever.

I would say that I have the best dog ever since he ate his without complaint also.  But he eats cat shit, so what does he know?

Friday, May 21, 2010

My dog Jaeger’s letter to Grama

** I am typing this email for Jaeger, my dog. He tried to do it himself but he has no thumbs so it was taking forever. Note: Jaeger insists that tortilla chips be typed as "CHIPS!" because they are the
secret meaning to life**

Dear Grama,

Can you guess what I did yesterday? Huh? Huh? Can you guess? It was the most awesomest day ever!

When Mommy came home she took me out back like always. She got a little mad when I "didn't hear" her call me 2 times. I'm old now and all those smells interfere with my hearing. I never seem to have trouble hearing her when she has food for some reason. 

Well, anyway....then we came back in and she did something weird. She grabbed my new harness!  I went crazy. She let me out front and opened the car door. I was in the front seat like a speeding bullet!  She started the car and actually left the driveway for once!  I tried to be very quiet. I think she forgot I was in the car.

She opened the window for me when she realized I was still in the car.  I got to hang my head out the window for a loooonnnnnggggg time.

Eventually she rolled up the window and pulled in to a parking lot and guess who was there?! Can you guess? Huh? Huh? I bet you can't!

It was DADDY! He laughed at me while I jumped from the front seat to the back trying to get through the window to him. They let me out after Daddy put on my harness. This asphalt smelled COMPLETELY different than the stuff at home. So, I peed on it. 

We walked over to a table w/chairs and they sat down. I did not get a chair. I'm sure it was just 'cause there were no cushions on it.  Mommy put down some water w/ice that she had brought from home. Then she pulled out the dog treats! YAY! I sucked down all the water in 5 minutes flat and ate a few treats.  Mommy & Daddy would talk to other people every so often when they came to the table. The people smelled WUN-DER-FULL!  

You know what happened next? Huh? Do you? The WUN-DER-FULL smelling people brought CHIPS! to the table! I got to eat CHIPS! at the table w/Mommy and Daddy! A WUN-DER-FULL smelling lady said she wanted to pet me but was not allowed and asked if she could bring some water for me. I really like those people.

Then Mommy & Daddy got plates of food! When no one was looking Mommy let me have good tasting paste off her fork. She said it was something called "reef ride" beans. She let me have some cheese too!  And I was still getting a few CHIPS! Finally, after many dog treats, 2 bowls of water, "reef ride" beans, cheese and CHIPS! we got back in our cars and drove home (Daddy was driving separately. I think he doesn't like me near him after "reef ride" beans.) I got to hang my head out the window all the way home too!

We got home and I ran in to tell Halle Kitty all about my trip. I tried to tell Cassie, the Queen Kitty, but she told me to go tell someone who cares. I told her that was what I was trying to do, if she would just listen. She turned away and went to lie down on the treadmill. She seemed really irritated. Might have been 'cause I dropped a stuffed moose on her while I was excited. I drank some more water in the kitchen and then we all went to the couch. Mommy & Daddy watched the moving picture box and I sprawled out to get scratchings from them.

You would think that's enough but you know what happened next? Betcha can't guess! I GOT ICE CREAM! Daddy went to the big black cold box and got one of the ice creams from the box w/the dog on it! I'm pretty sure they put a dog on it 'cause they know how important ice cream is to dogs.

After all that I was kinda tired. We all went to bed and I was quiet the whole night.

The End

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