Friday, October 25, 2013

Bike Decals

5 minutes before the end of shift.  Yes, 5 minutes before freedom.  Isn't that when all the crazies seem to call?
Okay, this girl didn't really qualify for 'crazy' so much as owner of the no common sense pool.  She thought she needed help.  No really, she was sure we could help her.  

D = Dispatch
C = Caller

D - "Police department, this is Shannon.  How may I help you?"
C - "Yeah, I cannot find my bike.  I chained it here and I cannot find my bike."
D - "Okay, where are you?"
C - "I'm outside of the Chai Dorms."
D - "Okay, when was the last time you saw your bike?"
C - "I just chained it up a couple of hours ago.  I know it has to be here somewhere."
D - "You don't think your bike was stolen?"
C - "No.  I know it's here somewhere.  I just cannot find it."
D - "So, you do not wish to file a report for a stolen bicycle?"
C - "No!  I know it is here!  I just cannot find it!  I need help finding it!"
D - "Ma'am, we don't send people out to help you search bike racks for your bicycle."
C - "I put a decal on my bike and registered it with parking services!  Why the hell did I do that if it won't help me find my bike!?"
D - "The decals on the bikes are not locators, ma'am."
C - "Well, what am I supposed to do?"
D - "We would suggest you keep looking in the bike racks around that building to see if your bike is there.  If you do not find it, give us a call back and we will send someone out to take a stolen bike report."
C - "I don't know how many bike racks are around the building!  Can you at least tell me that?"
D - "We don't have that information, ma'am.  We would suggest you walk all the way around the building and check each bike rack you come to.  Stop when you recognize somewhere you have already been."
C - "So, the decal is useless?!"
D - "No, if it turns out the bike is stolen the decal helps identify it as yours.  If your bike were to be pawned, it is a way for it to be traced back to you."
C - "But you cannot locate my bike with the decal?"
D - "No ma'am.  As I said, the decals are not locating devices."
C - "Well, thanks for nothing then!"