Sunday, August 15, 2010


 Spring Break on a Cruise

Lessons learned on the cruise:
  1. Young college students, while pretty/hot/studly/slutty/young/loose/etc, can also be DAMNED entertaining!
  2. There is no discrimination among the young and drunk when it comes to making an ass of yourself. Foolishness is definitely an EOE.
  3. Drinking to excess is considered a sport among the young and competition is fierce
  4. Stupidity is to be admired in your roaring 20's and is a desirable breeding quality
  5. Rick & I are old and devious
  6. We look old and harmless to the young, stupid and drunk
Imagine my heartbreak, dismay and fear when I saw the ship filled to capacity with young hard body college kids. Great…Now I would look like the whale that I am. Rick would be repulsed seeing me next to the blonde svelte teeny boppers. To his credit, he may have looked at them (well, he IS a man) but he looked and appreciated me too.

I finally relaxed and had a pretty good time and drank w/everybody else. We went to Key West and then on to Cozumel.

Pay attention folks. Cozumel is where drinking increases along with stupidity. Go figure.

They tell you to set your watches to "ship's time". That happens to be the time of wherever you sailed out of. It was Miami this time…Eastern Standard Time.

Enter Señor Frog's. Lots of college kids having fun. Lots of mommy & daddy money being spent. Lots of booze was consumed. Lots of stupidity ensues.

Señor Frog's is nice enough to put clocks on the wall and have their employees wear watches so you don't lose track of time. What time do you think they set it to? They are in Mexico. Cruise ships come from everywhere. Sure they find out what ship is rolling in that day and change their clock to match that ship's time, dumbass.

Rick & I had a couple of drinks and a good time watching the college kids get plastered. Then we took a taxi back to the pier, had a Corona at a small bar (where he taught me the saying of "Liquor and then beer, never fear") and then went back to the ship.

The ship was scheduled to sail at 11pm EST.

At 10:30pm we got a drink and went to the top deck and stood at the railing. We looked out over the pier and the incredibly blue water (lit up from lights under the ship).

At 10:40pm we heard the gangway being pulled into the ship (they ask that you be back on the ship ½ hour before sail time). We saw 2 guys running down the pier. We looked at each other and said, "I guess they didn't set their watches to ship's time". Then we were evil and giggled.

They got to the very back of the ship and no gangway appeared. One of the college guys dropped to his knees and all you heard screamed across the pier was, "OH JESUS!"

You will still hear Rick & I occasionally quote that young man. Then we will giggle.

You see, we have no doubt that they had not thought to bring their birth certificates/extra money/passports with them to Señor Frog's. So, they were stuck in Mexico with the clothes on their backs and no documentation and no extra money.

Now we saw 2 girls running down the pier. They would stop every so often to catch their breath. One would hit the other and they would run again. We giggled like the demons that we are when we saw that they were bawling. They were stuck in Mexico too.

We were just evil old codgers on the ship who not only had gotten back in time, but had brought extra money & documentation when we DID go out. *snicker*  Others standing at the railing looked at us funny that we were laughing at the plight of these "poor children".

Hey, if you are old enough to get drunk in Mexico and let some MC @ Señor Frog's blow CO2 up your skirt for kicks, then you are old enough to set your watch to ship's time or pay the consequences for being a dumbshit.

'Nuff said.

By the way…a lot of the old people at the railing ended up laughing with us.

PS – The way too nice people running the ship eventually let the idiots back on the ship. They just scared the beejeesus out of them.

PSS – Karma is gonna get me someday

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