Saturday, February 16, 2013

I work in a police department on a college campus.  This provides much entertainment.  

This is a recent winner for humor value.

D = Dispatcher C = Caller

D - "Police department this is Shannon may I help you?"
C - "Yes, I am looking for my bike. I left it on a shuttle yesterday."
D - "What kind of bike is it?"
C - "A blue and silver one."
D - "Does your bike have a brand name?"
C - "I can't remember what brand my bike is."
D - "What type of bike is it? Does it have a lot of gears?"
C - "It's a normal bike with a regular amount of gears."
D - "So, all you know about your bike is that it is blue and silver."
C - "Yes."
D - "Okay, let me check our lost and found book."

I put the student on hold and checked the book with not much hope.

D - "We have not had any bikes turned in since before yesterday."
C - "Well, could you check last night?"

I heaved a heavy sigh as I realized I was going to have to explain A LOT to this person.  I reminded myself that college admittance does not guarantee basic comprehension.

D - "We haven't had any bikes turned in since before yesterday."
C - "Well, does that mean there weren't any turned in last night?"

As my head hit the table in frustration I realized my chances of having a break through with THIS Einstein were slim.

D - "Yesterday would be BEFORE last night, sir."
C - "Oh well, could you check yesterday?"
D - "As I said we have not had any bikes turned in since BEFORE yesterday."
C - "So, my bike can't be there?"
D - "Not unless it was able to sneak in here when we weren't looking."
C - "Could I come check the impound?"
D - "Sure you can sir. And if you find that bike, make sure you reprimand it properly for sneaking onto police property without proper authorization or filing the correct paperwork."
C - "Huh?"
D - "Have a nice day sir. We are here 24 hours a day whenever you want to look for your bike."
D - "Yeah uh, thanks."

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